and baby makes 4

I was sitting here in my last week of maternity leave and realized that I have not yet updated my blog since the birth of Logan Joshua Burns on June 29th. He weighed 8lbs. 3ozs and was 20.5 inches long. He is much chunckier than my stringbean Riley was but just as cute. This has quickly earned him the nickname meatball. Meatball is now 11 lbs and has already had a trip to the emergency room and the urologist. The emergency room was because I thought he was peeing blood but, it turned out to be urate crystals. He was a little dehidrated so, his urine was to condensed to breakdown the crystals. He had a visit with teh urologyst becasue his penis has a bit of a bend. We will be having surgery to correct this when he is 6 months old.

Before Logan was born, I had all of these great ambitions of things I was going to accomplish while home with my little ones. I wanted to learn how to cook healthy, print all of our family photos and put them into photo albums, do some spring cleaning, work 10 hours a week, and most importantly enjoy everyday. I soon realized however, that having a newborn and a 4 year old is not as easy as I thought it would be and there are just not enough hours in the day or days in the week.

It doesnt seem fair that I can have these 2 beautiful boys but am not allowed to be home with them. This last 6 weeks although hectic and at times a bit overwhelming, flew by without warning. In the face of returning to work, I now fear that I will miss out on so much. I want to be there for every first, every tear and every smile, and mostly, I want my angels to remember me being there. As I look ahead, I suddenly realize how much time I lost with Riley. What did I miss with him as someone else got to enjoy my little boy? How I long to be there for every moment.

Both boys are well and Riley (so far) loves being a big brother. He calls Logan his little poop machine and loves to feed and hold him. I wonder what their relationship will be in the future. Will they be best friends and share their secrets and dreams with each other? Will they always be a part of each others lives? Will they be happy? If I had one wish it would be that both are happy.